


Where the Heart is

by Briniest



Series: Friends before Knives [1]
Category: The Emperor's Edge Series - Lindsay Buroker
Genre: Emperor's Edge AU, F/M, Forgotten Ages AU, Gen, I just want Rias to adopt Sicarius, Teen Sicarius needs love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-12-19 16:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11902050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briniest/pseuds/Briniest
Summary: What if Sicarius came with Rias and Tikaya at the end of Encrypted? This AU will explore how events might have unfolded if Sicarius left Raumesys employ at a much earlier age, and found new family on the tropical islands of Kyatt.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my friend, buckehbahns on tumblr, for letting me scream in her IMs and bounce ideas off of her. Really, I just want to see how Sicarius' life might change were he in better circumstances. Also, Rias just adopts everyone and I think that's really sweet. I have random chunks of this story written already, so we'll see where that takes us.  
> ~<3, Pickles

‘What if you came with us?’  
The words played back through the young man’s head as he lay in the igloo, examining the inky black blade. He had caught up with Fleet Admiral Starcrest and the Kyattese cryptanalyst attempting to flee Bocrest’s team. His initial plan had been to force them back to the group, where Starcrest would be able to regain all the power and prestige he had lost with his banishment. It soon became clear that would not be the case. Sicarius had tangled with the former admiral enough to know that there was no changing his mind once it was made up. It was then that he proposed something that surprised the young assassin, offering him a place with them as they fled. He couldn’t promise much, Starcrest had said, but he’d be his own man, have a chance to shape his fate how he saw fit, provided they weren’t killed before they reached the island paradise of Kyatt.

After two days of nearly stumbling through the mountains, the trio emerged into the icy wilderness. Sicarius had opted to build a smaller shelter for himself into the side of the couple’s igloo. Given the way they conversed with each other, the teen assumed they had activities planned that were better pursued without witnesses. The Kyattese woman, Komitopis, had flushed at this comment, and Starcrest had let out a laugh. He next accused Sicarius of having a sense of humour, something Commander Hollowcrest and Major Pike would have severely punished. It wasn’t only to give the couple space for their new relationship to blossom; as an assassin, he had been trained not to trust easily. While he did trust the admiral’s word, he could tell the cryptanalyst was wary of him, and her opinion was important to Starcrest, if not Sicarius himself.

He set his new prize on his pack and fixed his gaze on the snowy ceiling. The trek down to the coast would not be an easy one, and he should get as much rest as he could now in order to perform optimally on their trip. He would be horrified if he was unable to keep up with the rest of the group due to sleep deprivation. So he closed his eyes and soon enough, morning came.

After a few nights of building his own small shelter in the forest, Sicarius was approached by Starcrest.  
“I appreciate what you’ve been doing for Tikaya and I, but it would be wiser for us all to share one shelter, so that we’re able to communicate, should something happen in the night. Understand?”  
The young assassin nodded, “Very well. I shall assist you in building a larger shelter tonight, then.”

The practice they were getting constructing these shelters made them go up a little faster every night, so after almost no time at all, they were all inside the cozy dome together. Komitopis and the admiral pressing themselves close together as they settled in for bed, and Sicarius sitting rigidly against the opposite wall, his eyes glued to them. After a few glances at him and some jostling from his mate, Starcrest sits up, and crawls over to the young assassin.  
“Most people sleep by closing their eyes and laying down, you know.” His tone made Sicarius assume he wore an amused expression, even if there wasn’t enough light available to make out faces.  
“I was under the impression you required my protection while you slept. I would serve you better in that way with open eyes and a ready posture. Did you not mention it would be more secure for us all to sleep together?” The sound of sandpaper suggested Starcrest was stroking his chin and his reply was soft.  
  
“I was more thinking of the conservation of labour than the need for a guard when I made that suggestion. I’m sure you’ve been scanning our surroundings assiduously, and, by my account, we should be able to tell well in advance if anyone gets close.” He rested a hand on Sicarius’ knee. “I realize that I probably have around 25 years on you, but you will need sleep. The route I have planned for us gets somewhat treacherous once we get closer to civilization. As impeccable as I’m sure your training is, even you have your limits.”  
The teen let out a nigh imperceptible sigh. “Yes, Sir.”  
“Good Night, Sicarius,” offered Starcrest as he returned to his former position.  
“Good Night, Fleet Admiral Starcrest,” replied Sicarius, lying down at last.

A few days down the line, while they had stopped to eat, Tikaya noticed Sicarius sketching something in an old journal. At first she thought it was notebook she had been working in, the one with notes on the caverns in Kyattese. As she drew closer, however, she noted that he appeared to be sketching a child, barely more than an infant, really.  
“Who’s that?” she asked, impressed with his artistic skill. The impression Rias had given her was that the arts weren’t particularly valued in Turgonia, so finding such a skill in one with Sicarius’ grisly occupation was a surprise, to say the least. Almost as soon as the words had left her mouth, the journal slammed shut, and the boy assassin glared up at her. After a tense few seconds of eye contact, Tikaya sighed and walked back towards Rias and his submarine plans.  
  
“I almost feel left out, being the only one not drawing something,” she joked. If he heard her, he gave no indication, and his quiet muttering to himself in his native tongue continued. Almost as soon as she’d walked away, Sicarius resumed his sketching, and the secrecy with which he guarded that book only made her more curious.  
“Is that your brother?” Tikaya asked, not moving from where she was, but directing her attention to Sicarius nonetheless. She nudged Rias. “Does Sicarius have a brother?” The jostle was enough to garner his attention for the moment.  
“Not that I know of...but, well, that might explain something.” He looked over at the teen. “Do you have any siblings? Is Raumesys holding someone in your family as leverage?”  
  
“No,” answered the young assassin. “Forming bonds with others was prohibited during my training.”  
“Who are you drawing, then?” Tikaya insisted. Sicarius’ attention returned to the page, and she wondered if he was going ignore her again. After a pause that seems to stretch endlessly, he gives a quiet answer.  
“His name is Sespian. He will be Emperor of Turgonia one day.”  
“Unless you can stop it?” surmised Rias. “If he’s the son of the ruling emperor, few places will be as safe for him as the Imperial Barracks.”  
“One would think,” agreed Sicarius, tucking the journal back into his pack. “We should press on, if we wish to make more progress before nightfall.”  
Rias, who had already stowed his own sketches, shouldered his pack and held a hand out for Tikaya. He said nothing but she could see the wheels spinning behind those gold-flecked eyes of his. This wouldn’t be the last they heard of their new companion’s interest in the Imperial babe.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rias makes a shocking realization, the two men have a serious discussion by the light of the fire, and Sicarius does a lot of thinking.

Sure enough, it wasn’t even a week later that the topic was breached again.  
“He isn’t truly Raumesys’ heir at all, is he?” posited Rias while setting up a fire one night. Something almost fearful tinged Sicarius’ stony façade and he gave him an intense look.  
“If the emperor were ever to find out, Sespian’s life would almost surely be forfeit,” the teen admitted quietly.  
“And Princess Marathi?” Rias prodded.  
“Once she realized Raumesys was incapable of siring an heir, she knew she was as good as dead if she couldn’t find a discrete substitute.” Perhaps to compensate for his complete lack of emotion, Sicarius’ voice grew quieter still as he continued to talk. “Given my prestigious level of training, and the fact that my very existence was a closely guarded secret, I was chosen as that substitute.” His voice was barely a whisper at this point and Tikaya gasped.  
“Dear Akahe…” He was still just a boy himself… To think that he had a son.  
  
Rias’ face had grown stormy and there was a tense set to his jaw. He struck flint to steel and simply stared into the growing flames for a time. When he finally spoke again, his voice was low and sombre.  
“I suppose we have another mission on our hands, then.”  
“Rias!” gasped Tikaya. “That’s suicide.”  
“My lady, I don’t do suicide missions,” he replied, giving her a self-effacing smirk. “Besides, I’ve grown rather fond of your company. I have no intention of throwing that all away.”  
Tikaya furrowed her brow, and Rias cleared his throat.  
“It’s not a mission I would attempt without adequate preparation, I assure you,” he insisted. “We should focus on getting you home for now. Solve one problem at a time.”  
She shook her head, despite being done with the Turgonian military, Rias was obviously nowhere near retirement. He’d surely be mulling over a plan in the back of his mind, even while they made their way across the frozen wilderness.  
Sicarius continued to bore into him with that all too intense gaze of his. Rias gave him a firm nod and then set about retrieving rations from his pack for dinner.

As he stared into the campfire, Sicarius attempted to process everything he had heard that night. Not only had Admiral Starcrest figured out his secret, something he’d never shared before that night, but he intended to help Sicarius rescue Sespian from Raumesys’ clutches. To think of how much his life had changed since accepting the mission to pursue Starcrest out past Fort Deadend, and how much change was still yet to come, made his stomach roil with unfamiliar emotions. Despite knowing the admiral as a man of his word, Sicarius couldn’t help but feel trepidatious. What if their ruse in the cave was seen through and the emperor sent a battalion of soldiers after them in retaliation? Or worse yet, what if he slaughtered Starcrest’s family? That would surely extinguish any desire to help he possessed.  
  
“Something on your mind, Sicarius?” asked Starcrest. “Your glare is almost as hot as our fire.”  
Were it not for his extensive training, the young assassin may have started at the interjection.  
“What if Raumesys strikes at your family to compensate for my loss?” he asked quietly, not looking up from the flames, “Would you not hate me?”  
“To strike at the family of a hero who died in the last war over the loss of one who doesn’t officially exist would raise a lot of questions, would it not?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, and when Sicarius looked up at his hero, Starcrest gave him a warm smile.  
“The emperor knows I can make his life difficult if I so choose. If he doesn’t, I can most certainly remind him.” He massaged his stubbled chin thoughtfully. “It’s hardly as though my family is defenseless, either. I will send word to them as soon as an opportunity arises, though.”  
Unsure how to respond, Sicarius stared into the fire again. It had never been important for him to learn the art of conversation. In his line of work, it was either kill or be killed. None of his superiors or tutors wanted his opinion on anything. All questions had a direct answer and orders were to be obeyed, not discussed.  
  
“There’s no shame in being nervous, you know,” Starcrest offered, filling the silence. “True courage is not the absence of fear. It’s the ability to continue on despite that fear.”  
A quick glance told him the Komitopis woman had left for the moment. Whether to perform necessary bodily ablutions or specifically to offer privacy he was unsure, but he asked in a voice much smaller than he liked to allow, “are you ever afraid?”  
The old admiral let out a short laugh, followed by a sigh, and rolled his eyes up to the star-lit sky. “I never did work up the courage to tell Tikaya who I really was.” He gave Sicarius a pained grimace. “Another officer, a real piece of work, told her, and I only had my own cowardice to blame for the ensuing fall out.”  
  
His gaze grew intensely serious as he spoke again. “The Turgonian military is great at teaching men to charge into battle without hesitation or to look at a near-hopeless situation and push on anyways. What they’re less adept at, what’s harder to learn, is how that applies off the battlefield.” Starcrest rubbed his chin again. “Perhaps I’m getting too broad and philosophical. What it boils down to is that courage takes different forms. Just because you’re trained to withstand torture without flinching does not mean you will automatically adjust to a major life change without hesitation. Understand?”  
Sicarius gave a slow nod, head cocked thoughtfully to one side.  
  
“Professor Komitopis seems to have accepted your identity,” he offered.  
“Not without a lot of communication and at least a little time, though,” amended the older man.”I think there’s a lesson to be learned there. Sometimes, if you take the risk, opportunities you can’t even imagine will present themselves. Or maybe it’s that love makes people crazy…” He offered Sicarius a rueful grin.  
“Huh,” answered the young assassin, tilting his head in the opposite direction. The old admiral had given him much to think about. No doubt his unconscious mind would dwell heavily on it as he slept that night.

The soft crunch of boots on snow heralded Komitopis’ return and both men shifted their gazes towards her.  
“Am I interrupting,” she asked quietly.  
“No, Love. Your timing is impeccable.” He gave her a soft look, and the phrase ‘love makes people crazy’ echoed in Sicarius’ head. “I was just about to suggest we turn in for the night.” Starcrest shovelled snow onto the fire, leaving them in near-total darkness.  
“Sicarius, could you stay and watch the fire for a while?” asked Komitopis.  
He looked at the undoubtedly soggy pile of smoking, blackened wood. “Admiral Starcrest was quite thorough in smothering the flames. They will not reignite. Especially in this climate.”  
There was a low, throaty chuckle from the admiral. “I think my lady was trying to express a desire for some time alone… “  
Sicarius gave a business-like nod, despite the darkness surrounding them. “I shall watch the ashes for the recommended duration, then perform what reconnaissance I can on the surrounding area. Will that allot you enough time to complete your carnal--”  
“We’ll make do,” answered Komitopis tersely, cutting him off.  
She seemed displeased, had that not been what she wanted? Idly he realized that this was the first time she hadn’t seemed intimidated by him. Perhaps it was the darkness engulfing them, but it only served as a reminder that nothing in his life would be the same again.

His stomach reminded him that he had spent so much time thinking this evening that he had neglected to feed himself. That was one likely reason his tutors and handlers had never encouraged thinking for himself. It was easy enough to get lost in one’s own thoughts and neglect the body’s physical needs. Mastery of the thoughts went hand in hand with mastery of the body, and even though he was now allowing himself freedom to explore broader horizons with his thoughts, he must take care not to let his physical discipline slip. Enough time had now passed since the fire was extinguished that he had regained some semblance of his night vision, and he dug into his pack and pulled out a meal ration bar. He chewed it thoughtfully, staring out into the trees, and waiting for the time to pass him by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a much more introspective chapter than the last one, and part of me is worried that it's either too preachy or circular reasoning. I tried to make it feel authentic, though, and not dwell on subjects that Sicarius probably doesn't want to talk about. I figured he'd be more likely to open up to his childhood hero if they were alone, that's why Tikaya vanishes and then returns later. I hope you liked it, though. I'm aiming to publish about one chapter a month (mostly because that's a schedule I might actually be able to stick to) so there should be more in the future.  
> <3,  
> \- Pickles


End file.
